listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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