I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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