I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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