How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
