how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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