How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We are all done wearing pants today
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
