did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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