they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
