OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
