i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
