matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize