Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We talked him into tasing himself.
I will pee on everything he values.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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