I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
