me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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