My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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