sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize