Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize