Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
