ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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