the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
