In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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