for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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