An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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