you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
