You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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