You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
