I wanna bring you to show and tell
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
