My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
