Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
