i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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