there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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