thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
