you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
