Where did you get a picture of my penis
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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