My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
