That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
