she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
