im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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