I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
