so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
