Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
