Screwed.edu
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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