she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
