Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
my liver is dry heaving
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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