I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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