Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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