Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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