? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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