Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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