But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
