you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
