My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize