he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
