I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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