Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
