the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
