Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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