Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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