..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
