Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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