...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
