After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.