Acid is not a monday night drug
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world