I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours