so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
