i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
