rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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