hell yes lets make some ravioli
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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