I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
