I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
