Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
